Happy Father's Day

It's not very often My Girl mentions her Father and Grandparents, but understandably Father's Day is always one of those days.  This year will be the 6 year anniversary since she last saw them.  Her Dad can only see her supervised, but the Grandparents are welcome to visit any time.  They all choose not to make the effort to be a part of her life.  

It took My Girl a couple of days to get the courage to call, but she finally tried on Thursday.  To her disappointment, the call did not go well.  She felt like they rushed her off the phone and did not engage in any conversations that she brought up.  They were uninterested in the excitement of her new baby Sister and did not care that her dog Scooby had died a while back.  She could tell her Father hated the fact that she kept referencing her "Daddy" and noticed he made a snappy comment of "Your Daddy loves you" when he quickly ended their call.  They even went as far as to tell her to "Give them a call if she's ever in town".  It never ceases to amaze me the things that they will tell a 12 year old and how they can't even spend more than 20 minutes on the phone with her.  The worst part is they only live 2 hours away.

As part of the standard "post call" damage control, I reminded my girl that her Father is a sick man destroyed by alcoholism.  He does not mean to hurt her feelings and we should pray that some day he will get well and be a responsible parent both emotionally and financially.  I reminded her that it is the parent and/or Grandparents responsibility to make the effort to be a part of her life.  It is not her job to chase their love.  What a hard lesson to learn at such a young age.

DESPITE IT ALL, we had a great Father's Day weekend!  All of the OTHER "Dad's" in our family couldn't wait to spend time with my girl and all of our kids.  

I ventured out with all four kids on Friday to the pool with my Dad (Grandpa), and they loved riding the lazy river and the big slides with him. They were exhausted after swimming all day, but we still managed to meet my Mom and Gramps (my Step Dad) for dinner before they took them home to have a sleepover.  Woohoo for Mommy & Daddy time!

We even had a baby free Saturday when my Hubby's Mom (Nana) took our Baby Girl to play for the day.  Believe it or not, I missed her terribly, as I realized that was the longest we had been apart since she was born.  On Sunday, the kids helped make breakfast for their Dad, gave him Father's Day cards & gifts, and decorated his present with numerous notes and drawings (see below). My Boy left early with Nana to go for his monthly haircut and later we all met for a Father's Day lunch.  My Dad joined us as well and brought the kids their favorite giant cookie.

What's really great is this was just a normal weekend for us.  My kiddos are always visiting their Grandparents and love to spend time with them and their Dad.  I'm thankful My Girls have these special relationships with mine and my Hubby's family to build a lasting bond and show them the real meaning of family.

Happy Father's Day!  

Memories....

Like the corners of my mind!~

Memories
May be beautiful and yet
What's too painful to remember
We simply choose to forget

So it's the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were

So it's the laughter
We will remember
Whenever we remember
The way we were



I recommend taking the Enabling quiz!

Enabling - When 'Helping' Doesn't Really Help - By @Buddy_T

As long as the alcoholic has his enabling devices in place, it is easy for him to continue to deny he has a problem -- since most of his problems are being "solved" by those around him.  Only when he is forced to face the consequences of his own actions, will it finally begin to sink in how deep his problem has become.

Click HERE to see if you are an Enabler

All you are is Mean...

And I can see you years from now in a bar
Talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion
But nobody's listening

Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing
But all you are is mean

All you are is mean
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean



Thanks
Taylor Swift
"Mean"

It's a sad "Look"

It's a rare occasion that I bring up my ex-husband in a group setting.  I certainly didn't mean to do it yesterday, but it just slipped out!  My new Father-in-Law was telling a story about restaurants in New York and it reminded me of when I had been to the same well known Deli.  In conversation I mentioned that I had eaten there with my ex on a weekend get-a-way! 

I think in most families such a blurb would have been a trivial comment, but in my case it was pivotal remark.  I would soon remember why I seldom mention him when we are out.  I nonchalantly glanced down at Nicole as I made the slip of the tongue.  I knew I might have upset her.  At first I saw the shock and confusion on her face, as she too knew this was a rare occasion.  Her dazed look instantly changed into a somber frown as I confirmed that I was indeed talking about her Daddy.  She had intently been listening to our stories up until that point. 

As we continued to chat about food, it wasn't long before Nicole slithered off to be alone.  I knew as she walked away I should intervene.  My Girl was unexpectedly reminded of the Dad she hasn't seen in almost 4 years.  What do you say to a 10 year old that is saddened at the mention of her very own Father?

It's not about the Money...Money...Money.....

Thanks Jessie J!  Great show on SNL!

http://youtu.be/O6_K5KQfkKc

Nicole's Diary

It's fun to play games
but watching the clouds
can bring back memories
I was visiting my grandparents
it felt like the longest trip in the world
and I just watched the clouds

Clouds are fun
but not the best
there is more fun things
Just to keep it simple
Fun is shared with laughter

MIRACLE IN THE ALCOHOL AISLE.....

Pathological Liar - A future letter from my Daughter....

By ~tas-poetry

It is no mystery
That your lips only speak of fictional stories
You use to compose your identity
Not a word you speak has any resemblance with truth
For you are made of a thick façade of lies
Whether it be big or small, you care not
As long as there is no glimpse of honesty
Underlying in the words you speak
For the revelation of truth is what you fear most

I know that those lies masquerade
An overt denial of unpleasant realities
I know that deep down you are a tormented soul
That lies provide you with relief
A relief you long for
I know that you are a stranger in your own body
But you have lost all credibility now
Your lies are inconsistent
You are no longer a father
But a manipulative man
That only breeds chaos in our family

Your deception is no longer welcome
You, Dad, are no longer welcome in my life
Now it is my time to neglect you
The way you neglected me
For the way you abused my mother
For the emptiness you have left in my heart
As I grew up without a father
For all the promises you have broken deliberately
But even more so, for making promises
That you had no intention on keeping

Yes, I know that you use lies
To cover up the dirt of your insecurities
And I know that when you left me
You knew you left a big part of you
In the wilderness to grow up
Without fifty percent of the guidance I needed
But my mother and I are better off without you
Because you are too stubborn to admit the guilt
You feel in a small space in your heart
You are too arrogant to admit your faults
And you have too much pride
To apologize
And even if you did
It would be a lie
Because that has become your nature

You are the oxygen that abandoned my lungs
You are the blood that escaped my heart
And every time I pass my reflection in the mirror
I see you
The ugliness of you
That I inherited
I have all the physical attributes you have
Our faces are identical
But even worse
I have your mind
Your insecurities
Your stubbornness
Your emotional immaturity
Your weaknesses
I am ugly because of you

But there are things that I am proud of
I have compassion
Sensitivity
The ability to respect
The ability to love
None of which you have
But all of which my mother has taught me
The beautiful woman you married
The woman you scarred
And yes the woman that survived
All of your abuse and emotional torture
The woman that has taught me the meaning of inner strength
The woman you imprisoned for years
Who finally escaped
From the bars of your lies
She is my inspiration
My idol
My mother

And most importantly
I am proud
That I speak the truth
And if I do not speak the truth
Then I refuse to speak at all
A quality you will never have
I am better than you, Dad
And I cannot forgive you
Because that would be betraying
The woman that raised me
The woman that loved me
The woman that gave me all that you didn’t

You're a pathological liar. ~tas-poetry on @deviantART http://t.co/jUqSvi0

Want a good laugh???  Check out the comments below from an "Anonymous" poster who for some reason feels the need to defend a man who hasn't seen his kids in nearly 4 years!  There's always one!  ;)

You should really "Google" that phrase! ;)

Justin Timberlake skit on SNL!
Just bring it on down to Liquorville...