Sunday, June 5, 2011

It's a sad "Look"

It's a rare occasion that I bring up my ex-husband in a group setting.  I certainly didn't mean to do it yesterday, but it just slipped out!  My new Father-in-Law was telling a story about restaurants in New York and it reminded me of when I had been to the same well known Deli.  In conversation I mentioned that I had eaten there with my ex on a weekend get-a-way! 

I think in most families such a blurb would have been a trivial comment, but in my case it was pivotal remark.  I would soon remember why I seldom mention him when we are out.  I nonchalantly glanced down at Nicole as I made the slip of the tongue.  I knew I might have upset her.  At first I saw the shock and confusion on her face, as she too knew this was a rare occasion.  Her dazed look instantly changed into a somber frown as I confirmed that I was indeed talking about her Daddy.  She had intently been listening to our stories up until that point. 

As we continued to chat about food, it wasn't long before Nicole slithered off to be alone.  I knew as she walked away I should intervene.  My Girl was unexpectedly reminded of the Dad she hasn't seen in almost 4 years.  What do you say to a 10 year old that is saddened at the mention of her very own Father?

28 comments:

  1. I don't think that there really is anything you can say other than reinforcing to her that it is NOT her fault that "daddy" hasn't seen her in 3 yrs, 11 mnths and 20 days. Continue to love her and support her like you always do!

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  2. ummmm....maybe have her call daddy?

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  3. Her dads a jerk. At least she has her loving mother.

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  4. LOLOLOL - whatever, guess that touched a nerve....but in any case, MAYBE calling her daddy would help - regardless of whether or not you think that her daddy is a jerk.

    P.S. - never wrote anything to the contrary about the child's mother....but I guess that made you feel better.

    Time will tell, and wounds will heal. Good Luck.

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  5. No Glenn, she doesn't want to call her "Daddy" as you try and post "anonymously" above. She wants you to come and see her like she has begged you over and over to come do.

    So no, she doesn't want to talk to you until you make an effort to be in her life by coming to visit with her and her therapist (as she has asked repeatedly) to help her get through this very difficult situtation for a 10 year old girl.

    MyGirls are NOT going to go spend a weekend with you at your parents house when they haven't seen you in 4 years. I'm pretty sure most would agree!

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  6. Nicole's REAL DADJune 7, 2011 at 11:28 PM

    Many of the readers (people with the courage to leave their name when they post) of this blog know the blogger, you obviously DO NOT!!! Nicole’s sperm donor is a loser, and an immature ass, but we move on as a family, honestly "dear ol' dad" is becoming irrelevant in our day to day life, so for Nicole, I believe, this is a good thing. Nicole has a “Real Father” that loves her unconditionally and welcomes her with open arms, regardless of genealogy. She needs to feel accepted and loved and wanted by her whole family, however her “REAL FAMILY” gives this to her and allows her the freedom to ask real questions, regardless of how hard or hurtful they can be. We want her to know the truth no matter how ugly it may be, and no matter how much therapy she may need. Her feeling like she has been thrown away by her “other family” makes me said for her, and I wish I could take her pain away, but I can’t so I just hug her and let her know that I will always be there for her, same thing I told her mother the night we fell in love. Nicole is asking about her “Other Dad” less and less, maybe if said, "daddy" called more than every "blue moon" he could at least be in a small fraction of his children’s lives. Unfortunately, he takes the easy way out and lets his mommy and daddy pay his child support while he sits on his lazy, pompous, childish, drunk ass and makes threats to us almost daily. Just recently, “Daddy of the Year” has said to his ex-wife that has received “her last child support payment." That is what his children are to this monster, a BILL that is DUE EVERY MONTH!!! I mean, who just stops looking for a job, lives off their parents, and refuse to make any attempt to see his kids. That’s right, A JERK!!! I sure hope Anonymous, I mean her ex, has a good lawyer because none payment of child support in the state of Texas is a very serious offense, and you can be "jailed after 31 days of delinquency until payment can be reached", especially when we have already notified the Attorney General’s office and they now have tagged him for late payment and possible delinquency. You see these are FACTS, Mr. or Mrs. Anonymous, not opinions and pointless ramblings of a deranged lunatic that continues to defend the indefensible and excuse the inexcusable. Anonymous is right about one thing, "Time does heal all wounds"...Time also makes you forget even the ones that were closest to you when you never make any attempt to see them or stay in contact.

    I am sure we are all in for more enlightenment and psycho babble from Anonymous because I am sure he has had enough “box wine” to choke a moose.

    Nicole’s REAL DAD

    “GOD BLESS US, EVERYONE”…Tiny Tim- Christmas Carol(Charles Dickens)

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  7. I'm not sure who Glenn is (I can only assume maybe your ex) but it sure does seem like a lot of focus is on the ex, rather than the child in this blog.

    If "Nicole's" step-father truly thinks he is her real dad, then maybe it would benefit her if steps were taken to legally adopt her. That would take care of any uncessary bashing, and put an end to the troubles that everyone seems to have.

    However, it will never really matter "Nicole's Real Dad" to your posts, comments, or other actions, as you are not considered her "birth" father......unless you adopt. It doesn't matter that you may/may not take care of her, shelter her, or anything else.......until you legally adopt her......that might be a solution.....just a thought.

    As for the owner of this blog, geesh - calm down and just focus on your child.....throwing stones never helps.

    Be careful what you post, as everything in blog is open record. As for listing things about child support, so what.....the blogger is getting child support - most ex's do not...and how sad it is to threaten someone on a blog, and state such personal hateful information...geesh - a nerve was touched with you wasn't it......goodness.........as for "tagging" I am fully aware of the procedural issues with the OFFICE OF THE ATTORNEY GENERAL. Again, what is the issue so long as the ex-wife IS GETTING CHILD SUPPORT. Who cares????? If your goal is to have the ex arrested - then there goes the child support - correct?? Don't let anger dictate a rash decison that would impact the child.

    Enjoy your venting, as I see that is all it is...and your self-doubt in actually being the "birth father." However, if you truly want to be Nicole's real dad, then adopt her....maybe tha will give your family (extended) the peace.....as for the comments about the "other family" I do not care about them, the blogger's ex, you, or your children as I do not know them personally......Just answering a blog.........and if you don't want people to post as Anonymous, then block them or remove it...Solution solved - see how simple that is...

    Geesh - LOLOLO - enjoyed your "Tiny Tim" comment...guess that must be one of your favorite movies.....LOLOLO

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  8. Nicole's REAL DADJune 8, 2011 at 2:13 PM

    More drivel from Anonymous. For someone who doesn't care about/doesn't know anyone involved with this blog, you sure hit refresh fairly often (and by often, I mean like every 30 seconds). Your behavior is stalker like, at best. You continue to bang on this blogger and defend a hopeless alcoholic, which is comical. That is why you get your comments posted, because YOU ARE A JOKE. We LOLOLOLOL nightly at the delirium that spews from your keyboard. Your ability to stay on point is so refreshing. Adoption??? OK??? Do you think "the EX" would roll with that one? He is an abusive, obsessive control freak that wouldn't even listen to a judge the first time around...he didn't even show up to court to defend his actions or fight for his children when he was divorced. Do you really think adopting Nicole and her beautiful sister would solve their "daddy" issues? Are you stupid? These children need their "sperm donor" to act like they exist, not just pay his bill at the end of every month. Yes, I know that jails are full of dead-beat dads who are down on their luck and can't find work, but this dead-beat sits at home and waits on mommy and daddy's retirement check to pay his child support every month. Not complaining about not receiving payment, just showing that he still does absolutely nothing to take care of his responsibilities. He mooched off his ex-wife for the last 3 years of their marriage, now he is doing the same to dear ol’ mom and dad. In a word, “WINNER”.

    As for adopting Nicole, if I thought that would help, it would have been done. Do you think if her last name was the same as mine, it wouldn't change the memories she has of her "birth" father abandoning her to go out and buy more wine or her seeing nails in the driveway that her deranged "father" left one night to sabotage his ex’s car? Of course not, Nicole needs to know her whole family loves her and wants her, and actually all want to get along and be a family. The court order only declares supervised visit for the “birth father”, not for grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins. What is their excuse for not seeing them for as long as their “sperm donor” hasn’t? They say they have to take Glenn’s side, but they have robbed themselves of the joy we experience with our beautiful children and family. Legal adoption is an extremely difficult process to have done even when both parties agree. If Nicole's "birth" father said he would walk away and never call, write, ect...if I adopted the girls, as I have said, it would have been done. However, this ignorant lunatic thumbs his nose at the court any chance he gets, so jail may be the only place this piece of shit every learns a lesson so honestly for all of our sakes, I truly hope that he is not "threatening" when he says we have received "our last check". The cold slam of steel may the only thing that can shake this loser enough to come back to reality, or at least to the world we all share.

    Nicole’s Real DAD

    And Yes, I do love Christmas Carol. It’s a story of an angry man who is shown the light by 3 spirits. Ulitimate redemption is always refreshing and inspirational. Even Scrooge found the true meaning of Christmas/life…You get what you put in. Scrooge finally realized that being rich and alone was worthless without someone to share it with. My prayer is Anonymous/Glenn would have a night like Scrooge had on that fateful Christmas Eve, but unfortunately that is just a story that we read to our kids to show them that giving is the most important thing in life. Too bad we didn't all learn that lesson.

    Again, “God Bless Us, EVERYONE”

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  9. Picking a black hole over a beautiful star is absurd, to me. A black hole sucks life from everything around it until there is nothing left. A beautiful star on the other hand emits light throughout space and time and shows infinite possibilities. We have two beautiful stars that shine nightly and there light will never penerate the hardened heart of an inept child living in a man’s body. No matter how much he may post as Anonymous on his ex-wife’s blog, he will never know the joy or feel the love of two perfect little angels.

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  10. Rather than continue to jump me for merely responding, why don't you try and legally adopt her. Again, who cares what the ex is or is not doing....it doesn't really matter here and the only thing that does is that the ex is getting child support. Again, grow up with the "stalker" comment as it appears as this may be wishful thinking from both ofyou.....get real...a blog is a blog is a blog....Again, careful what you admit in writing, as a blog is ENTIRELY public record. Threats, sharing of confidential information is really frowned upon by a Judge. In any case, I still pitty you and your situation, as it just seems that regardless no one can let go of anything...and you thrive on such anger. Goodness, how sad of an individual you must be. As for the refresh - get a life and rest in the comfort that people even respond to this blog...as sad as it may be....Also, how tragic that you must comment about grandparents, regardless of the situation. It's so funny that the blogger posts information, asking for comments yet when they are posted (regardless of tone) there is such opposition to the someone's response. Good luck in dealing with sour opinion of everyone and life for it must really hender your forward progression through life.

    As for putting a person's real name in here with such horrible comments, only proves how sad of an individual that you truly are. LOLOLOL - it's so funny really.......let those people keep on laughing - and you keep on posting comments as I really enjoying seeing your temper and hers shine through. MAY GOD SHINE HIS LIGHT UPON YOUR HEARTS AND TRULY HEAL THE ANGER YOU SEEM TO HAVE.

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  11. Nicole's REAL DADJune 8, 2011 at 9:10 PM

    How do you know that is this bloggers ex's real name, Glenn, I mean "Anonymous"? BUSTED :) Getting sloppy when your sober, huh?

    Nicole's REAL DAD

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  12. Nicole's REAL DADJune 8, 2011 at 9:40 PM

    As far as what a judge may see/say, let's cross that bridge when we get there. Again, this has nothing to do with threats, it's more about what is real. Your, I mean, the "birth" father's continued absence tells a judge all they will need to know. I have a question the judge might ask you, I mean her ex, "When is the last time you bought your child a meal? I know you pay child support, well I mean your parents pay your child support, but when is the last time you actually sat down and broke bread with your daughters?" Crickets...

    Your continued responses tell us all we need to know about you, even when you have shown all your cards. Pathetic!!! As far as me being sad...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I got the girl, the kids, and the dog...what reason do I have to be sad? My life is wonderful, I just really enjoy messing with you, I mean her ex (I am not nearly as good at this as you are). His lack of a role in his girl’s lives has made me a stronger man and husband. For that I will thank you, I mean, her ex for. You never know what you are made of until your child cries herself to sleep in your arms because her "other dad" refuses to be in her life. What should I tell her the next time that happens? Answer a question for a change instead of mindless drool that makes no sense.

    Nicole's REAL DAD

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  13. Shocked and SaddenedJune 8, 2011 at 9:41 PM

    I want to know what you will say when the judge ask you if you actually broached the subject of giving away your children on a blog. The fact that you actually brought up adoption in this forum shocks me to my core. Just when I think you can't go lower, you continue to impress.

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  14. WHAT A FREAKIN LOSER!!! This clown actually thinks he foolin somebody. I think this chick rocks for standing up for her girls. Keep checkin that son of a bitch, sista. ONCE A LOSER, and all.

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  15. This ass clown is such a stalker.

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  16. I heard you on the radio this morning, girl. Can't believe your ex would actually throw nails in your drive way knowing you and his babies were on your out of town. Your ex is lucky he still has his children, not that he does much for them after reading some of this stuff. Has it really been almost 4 years? That is so sad for your little ones. You are way better off with a man that loves your babies like they are his own. Choosing to love a child is so much more rewarding for both parties. Hope you are through the ruff stuff soon...I'll be reading.

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  17. Just tell them their "other dad" is dead...that would probably solve some things.

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  18. Girl, you have moved on and recovered from your difficult past. Don't let anyone tell you what you did for those babies was wrong, they ain't you. The best way to work through some of your baggage is by writing it down, this blogger has chosen to take her thoughts public to possibly help others in her situation and I commend her for that. That crazy poster/your ex will say what he wants but your new life just makes him/them jealous. A very wise person once told me that jealousy is the most dangerous emotion. When it is mixed with the amount of hate your ex has in him it could make for a lethal combination. Be Safe, Girl and protect those girls.

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  19. You were great on the radio this morning, can't believe I heard you...then that crazy story, I had no idea what you were dealing with. I am so sad for your girls, but they will always think of "D" as their father. Love ya :)

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  20. Nicole's REAL DADJune 8, 2011 at 10:57 PM

    I guess there is more than one "anonymous"...can't say it hasn't crossed our minds.

    Nicole's REAL DAD

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  21. it's funny how you can come up with all of the above posts. Again, wise up and read the blogs that your "wife" has posted and you will the name of GLENN or are you unable to focus due to your drinking. Glad to see there are so many opinions on here.....live in the now, and realize that this isn't her ex husband. why would he respond to you or anyone else on here. I find this all so funny, and again, I pity you and the continued hate that you and your wife have demonstrated. Good luck in everything that you do.......bless your un-focused, ill-advised heart.

    God speed!

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  22. lololo - you are truly a funny "semi" individual. Yes, your wife is receiving child support, and that's the bottom line...it doesn't matter how she's getting it, BOTTOM LINE (igmo) she's getting it. Judge or no judge....there is NOTHING else that can be stated to judge - if it ends back in COURT..i believe it appears as though THAT IS WHERE YOU WANT IT TO GO....good idea....very good idea indeed!!!! .are they or are they NOT DIVORCED?? keep on thinking it's the ex-husband, pea-brain! ENJOY the wife, kids, and your future......I'm loving this and readling all of the comments....why else would I continue to keep responding!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO - People are so funny!!!!!!! Keep the anger going, and the words flowing - it's very interesting reading!!! I sure wish that I could meet the ex-that you are so fond of.....to believe and individual can creat such hate, and keep fueling the fire....GOD how pathetic you are!!!! LMAO!!!!!!


    we get there. Again, this has nothing to do with threats, it's more about what is real. Your, I mean, the "birth" father's continued absence tells a judge all they will need to know. I have a question the judge might ask you, I mean her ex, "When is the last time you bought your child a meal? I know you pay child support, well I mean your parents pay your child support, but when is the last time you actually sat down and broke bread with your daughters?" Crickets

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  23. You never know what you are made of until your child cries herself to sleep in your arms because her "other dad" refuses to be in her life. What should I tell her the next time that happens? Answer a question for a change instead of mindless drool that makes no sense.


    Wow - you are a insecure "step-father" are you not......."other dad" oh, wait - your previous comments "we tell Nicole everything, regardless if she has to be in more counselng sessions" Ever read the CHILDREN'S BILL OF RIGHTS........maybe you should....it not only applies to you, your wife, but to the ex-husband as well......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Read it, memorize and learn from it. All of you are total idiots bound on anger, resentment, and childish games.
    God Speed

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  24. SHOCKED AND SADDENED:

    RE-READ THE COMMENTS......everyone keep thinking that these comments are by the ex-husband....it's so funny!

    Oh yes, for the person who commented about wishing the ex-husband dead? REally, come on here...is that really something that should be put in writing.





    Shocked and Saddened said...
    I want to know what you will say when the judge ask you if you actually broached the subject of giving away your children on a blog. The fact that you actually brought up adoption in this forum shocks me to my core. Just when I think you can't go lower, you continue to impress.

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  25. Nicole's Real DAD:

    My oh My, glad to see that something rational answer was posted (10:57 p.m.).

    Good luck with everything, and hopefully, you and your wife won't follow through with the idiot who posted "tell them he's dead" god what a heartless idiot. Just make sure that everything that is being posted, isn't directed out of anger, that is never the answer. I can only imagine what both sides are going through, the struggles, ill-feelings, and unrest. Time will calm things down, and whatever the outcome hopefully it is the best for all involved.

    I'm posting as Anonymous because I don't want to be caught up in all of this anger. But I look for blogs about divorce, children, etc., somehow I get comfort knowing that my situation is not new (I mean no offense here at all, please do not take it that way) But I do feel for everyone, and so hope that there can be peace in the future.

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  26. You CAN NOT just legally adopt a child. There is a process that is long and tedious yet very rewarding. I have helped several families in this process and it’s not as simple as “anonymous” would make it out to be. If the child’s birth father is open and willing to agree to this process, things might go a little more smoothly, but if he is not, be ready for a war. Experience tells me you can't just adopt a child without both parties consent, unless you can prove neglect, abuse, or threat of life (there are several others, but would take too long to explain). This all has to be done in front of a judge, which usually requires a lawyer (if you want to have a chance to win), and lots of time and money spent. Simpler solution, the Dad(birth father, sperm donor, whatever) needs to do his work/counseling that the judge demanded, hold down steady employment (if his parents are paying his child support, it does not look good on the father, so to Anonymous’ point, IT MATTERS, A LOT) and provide his children with a safe and nurturing atmosphere.

    This little girl, Nicole, is obviously hurting, but attacking this blogger without offering solutions doesn't help. Going back to some of your first post (it looks like Anonymous is usually the same person) you have been wildly inappropriate, to put it mildly and have attacked this blogger from word one. This not a difference of opinion, you have preached and SCREAMED at this blogger about what she needs to do (which is basically stop blogging and MOVE ON). Anonymous should take his or her own suggestion and MOVE ON from this blog. There is an obvious difference of opinion, between you and everyone else who reads this blog. I have literally read every post and sans, let's call you Negative Anonymous; every comment has been encouraging and supportive. Why do you “need” YOUR voice heard by this blogger (for that matter, everyone else that has commented as well) that doesn't agree with your point of view. Isn't there some other blogger you can antagonize? Like someone said earlier, you are lucky this blogger let's you even have a voice on this blog. Try to see her side and point of view instead of just ramming your opinion down someone’s throat.

    As I type this, I am realizing how futile it could be, it will probably fall on deaf ears because some people are just miserable. Anonymous just wants to be a black hole and suck every bit of life out of this blog. Please don't let this negative attention/posting get you down. You have started down this path to help your girls and seek LEGITIMATE dialogue in your quest for answers; don't let "one bad apple spoil the bunch". And certainly do not let your ex continue to post more and more garbage, if that’s who you think “Anonymous” is. This poster, whoever they are, obviously has an agenda, otherwise they would not comment some much. Keep up it positive, because you have plenty of negative 

    Take Care

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  27. Where you on the radio yesterday talking about your crazy x? Did he really do that? Wow!!! Glad you are happy with D.

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  28. LOLOLOL - glad to see that you continue to be unable to let go and move on. I enjoyed reading the the most recent post from Dave. However, READ, STUDY AND LEARN THE "Bill of Rights" for Children. I already know that this will not be posted, as it's pick/choose with you, and that's fine. Still a very sad individual but maybe that will change - all miracles can happen.

    Enough said!

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