Friday, March 4, 2011

My Current Dilemma

I felt like sharing my current dilemma with you this evening.  I am trying to decide if I should continue to share my blog posts with my ex-husband and his family.  I have not shared with them that I started writing a blog in fear of the backlash I would receive.  I do sometimes copy and past the blog and send it via e-mail.  The conversation came up when I asked my hubby what he thought about me sending them the last blog post I made.  The post basically said that I thought it might be time for Nicole to accept the fact that her Dad is probably never going to come see her. 

There are several reasons why I hesitate to send them the post: 

First of all, they have completely ignored my 8 page letter asking for help, as well as several e-mails that followed.  Do they really deserve to hear the struggles my girls are dealing with?  They didn't care enough to reply to me or even call and see how they could help.

Secondly, I wonder if they will think I am trying to make them feel bad, as if I am shaming them? 

Thirdly, and I almost hate to admit this, but part of me feels like I want them to hurt as much as Nicole does.  I want them to KNOW the pain she is going through.  My ex-husbands family refuses to get involved in my girls' life at all.  My posts would force them to be involved.  Am I completely wrong for thinking this way?

And lastly, I should have known that I would re-light the fires of my ex-husband by contacting his family.  He has been off the radar for nearly a year.  The silence has now been broken and he has begun his ritual harassment of my family and I.  I reached my breaking point this week and was forced to have my attorney send him a certified letter to cease any further contact or I will be forced to file a civil suite.  I can't even share with you ugly details of his latest slander toward me.  So this seems to be more of a legal question.  Can I send him my posts when a lawyer just told him he is not allowed to contact me?

Well that's my current dilemma in a nutshell.  Honestly, I think the last reason is my only hesitation.  Maybe that means this is a question for a lawyer. 


  1. sounds like you need to let go of your ex-husband and move forward. by trying to continue to send correspondence and post blogs about issues, you are refusing to move forward and live life with your new family.

  2. I'm curious, why would you epect that your ex's family would turn on him. Blood is thicker than water. Would you expect your family to turn on you? I have found in my divorce, that family (regardless of what I think should happen) will not turn their backs on their own. IF you truly want to continue keeping in contact with your ex, then maybe you need to search inside yourself and ask "why" I sincerely hope that this isn't creating problems with your husband (as you stated earlier) and that you can move on. Everyone should so that life is happy and fullfilling.