Nicole began to ask to call her Father only recently. I would say for just the past six months. I think it has to do with her age. She is now 10 and the hormones are already kicking in. The pediatrician said it usually starts about this time and it makes girls at this age very emotional. It is also the first time they start truly learning Independence. They have more responsibilities and it is certainly the hardest year of school for them! I should know, as we have to help out a lot with Homework here.
Nicole hasn't seen her Father in nearly 4 years. She wants him to come to visit her desperately. If I let her call and ask him to come visit her, she is just going to be disappointed again. He is going to tell her no, and then she will be upset, and once again doubt his love for her!
My ex-husband is really very sneaky in his way of telling her no. He never really says no. He just replies with what he wants from her. For example: If my daughter says, "Will you please come down to visit me Daddy?". His response will be, "Well I want you to come up here to visit me." I'm starting to hear the frustration in her voice when he replies now. She's a smart little girl!
So last night I told her no. I told her that I mailed a letter to her Father's parents (her Grandparents) and to her Father's Sisters (her Aunts). I did not let her see the letter, as I felt it would be inappropriate for her to read. In the letter I asked them to try and talk to her Dad. To try and help him understand the hurt he is causing his little girl.
It's funny to me how Reese, our 5 year old, says nothing when her Big Sister asks to call her Dad. I really don't think she is paying attention and is in her own little wonderful world. Oh....to live in the mind of a precious, carefree, 5 year old. I am thankful she does not share the same grief as her older sister. At least not yet.