It's been almost two weeks since I mailed my 8 page letter to my ex-husbands family. Yes I know, I had a lot to say! I'm quite sure they received my lengthy plea on the 4th, as I received a random text from my ex asking me why I was harassing his family. If by sending them a letter asking them to help him understand the ramifications of what he is doing to his daughters, then by all means I am being harassing!
I'm sure I caught them by surprise by sending such a lengthy letter out of the blue, especially after nearly 4 years have passed with only minimal contact (ie. birthday's and holidays). Even though my request was unforeseen, I would think it polite to at least acknowledge my plea. Let me add here, I even sent a follow up e-mail to my letter to everyone on the 5th. I apologized if I came off as harassing and for not making more of an effort in the past. I offered a more open line of communication in the future and reminded them the girls are hurting from the loss of their family. I also sent them several pictures of the girls and offered to share more in the future.
Still nothing. No letter, no phone call of concern, no e-mail. I'd be happy with an e-mail just saying we received your letter and we'll get back with you. Honestly, I'd rather have an e-mail telling me to "Go To Hell" than the silent treatment. At least I know where you stand. A good friend of mine told me (after reading the letter), that I shouldn't get my hopes up. I think she could feel the small glimpse of hope I had, and was trying to save me from getting hurt again. I keep telling myself that she is probably right. She usually is.
I don't know why I have tried to enlist the help of a family that makes zero effort to be a part of my girls lives. Sometimes I think I reached out to them because it is their obligation. Other times I blame my lack of outreach and effort to communicate as their reason for staying away. But when it comes down to it, I made the effort for Nicole. I wanted to know that I extended the olive branch. I let them know my girls were struggling with the loss of their Father and his extended family. I asked for their help and the need to be more involved.
I will give Grandma one praise. She is habitual about sending bi-weekly letters and special occasion cards. I received a new letter dated the 4th for my girls and Valentine's cards on the 11th. While I appreciate the gesture and my girls are somewhat enthuased when they get these cards and letters, they have become like a thorn in my oldests side. It's just a reminder that they are only a family she knows on paper. It is a reminder that they don't care enough to be a part of their childhood in real life. My girls don't need a pen pal, they need the touch and feel of the love of this missing family. They DO like the dollar that is always inside! :)
I haven't given the girls their most recent letter or the Valentine's cards yet. I brought them home and left them in my purse all weekend. Am I a terrible person or what? I guess I'll give them out tomorrow. I probably subconciously held on to them because I didn't want it to ruin my weekened. Oh, and Nicole has asked twice if anyone has replied to my letter. I could tell she was dissapointed when I told her no each time. Guess I better start coming up with my next plan of action.